Ancient Prophets in Modern Times: Job goes to McDonald's

Job: Dammit, I asked for no pickles.

Ancient Gods in Modern Times - Cronus

Nurse: Umm, excuse me, Sir. We normally don't allow people to bring catsup into the Maternity Ward.

Knock, Knock, Popes - Lightbulb

A: How many Ebionites does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

B: I don't know, how many?

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to deny the divinity of Jesus.

Pope FAQs: Bob Saget

Q: Why is everytime "Full House" comes up in conversation, someone has to tell me that, despite his wholesome role on the show, Bob Saget was first known as quite the "blue" comic? Seriously, its happened like 10 or 11 times in the last month alone.

A: I think a better question might be: Why has "Full House" come up nearly a dozen times in your conversations in the last 30 days?