Popesploitation #1 - "Pope Fiction"

The area of the website where we remake famous scenes from movies with bits and pieces of Catholic history and Dogma in the hopes of selling better in religious markets:

POPE FICTION

Scene: Interior Dungeon

Sixtus IV: You okay?
Torquemada: Naw man. I'm pretty f@*%ing far from okay.
Sixtus IV: What now?
Torquemada: What now? Let me tell you what now. I'm gonna call a coupla hard, bible-thumpin monks, who'll go to work on the heretic here with a pair of thumbscrews and an iron maiden. You hear me talkin', apostate boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'm gonna get Inquistional your ass.

SCENE: Interior of Car

Archbishop Of Canterbury: and You know what they call a...a...a Vicar in Paris?

Elizabeth I: They don't call him a Vicar?

Archbishop Of Canterbury: No man, they got the Catholic system. They woudn't know what the hell a vicar is.

Elizabeth I: Then what do the call him?

Archbishop Of Canterbury: The call him a "priest".

Elizabeth I: A "priest". What do they call a church?

Archbishop Of Canterbury: Well, a church is a church, but they call it "le church".

Elizabeth I: "Le Church". Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Nun?

Archbishop Of Canterbury: I dunno, I didn't go into a convent.

Scene: Interior 50's-style Diner

Monk I: Don't you hate that?

Monk II: What?

Monk I: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullcrap in order to be comfortable?

Monk II: I don't know. That's a good question.

Monk I: That's when you know you've found a good monastery. When everybody can be completely quiet and comfortably enjoy a good vow of silence.