The Kingdom of Heaven V. Adam, Eve et al.
Frank J over at IMAO has attempted some biblical scholarship. Frank takes a look at the first 3 chapters of Genesis and at first sees "the clearest case of entrapment in all of history" and then wonders if "humanity is just a byproduct of an elaborate sting operation on the devil." This interpretation of Genesis brings up an interesting legal question: does the human race have grounds for appeal against our expulsion from the Garden of Eden?
[Please note that the following legal opinion and advice is only meant for the human race, I have no intention or desire to defend Satan, evil incarnate, in a court of law. After all, I'm no Ramsey Clark -ed]
Now, any such appeal would pretty much have to be based on the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution that protects citizens against illegal search and seizure. Essentially one would argue that God violated the civil rights of Adam and Eve by setting them up to commit a crime by placing the Tree and fruits right next to them and then arresting them for the crime of eating the food placed right in front of them (not to mention the fact that the Lord God did not read Adam or Eve their Miranda rights, or at least any such reading is not recorded in the Book of Genesis), an argument that has been used successfully in some drug related cases. Now, the main issue with this argument is whether or not residents of Eden can really claim to be protected by the Constitution of the United States. Given resent legal milestones that have stretched the applicability of national laws beyond a country's borders, such as Belgium's war crimes laws, however, I don't think we really need to worry too much about any of that jurist-my-diction stuff.
Another argument could be made that there really should have been a mistrial declared given the conflict of interests that God had in this case. The Lord served as arresting officer, as well as judge and jury in the case. Now, while God is the Judge of all this in this world and beyond, it seems that it would have been appropriate for the Lord to recuse Herself as Judge from the case and have allowed the Holy Ghost, or possibly one of the Arc Angels to sit on the bench for this trial (don't get me wrong, I'm not doubting God's ability to be impartial, but I just think it would have been better, even if only for the sake of public relations, for God to have recused Himself).
Now, its seems that there are two reasonably solid bases for appeal in this case. And, if this were an Eternal Damnation case, I'd likely advise my client to go ahead with the appeal. However, as the human race was essentially only sentenced to a few thousand years of probation, with each and everyone of us afforded the opportunity to have our sentence commuted because of good behavior after 65 or 75 years, I would have to advise the human race against any such appeal, if for no other reason than it means getting to avoid being cross-examined by the Lord in a potential new trial (the Lord, being omniscient and all, is a superb cross-examiner -- we're talking Sam Waterston good).
[Please note that the following legal opinion and advice is only meant for the human race, I have no intention or desire to defend Satan, evil incarnate, in a court of law. After all, I'm no Ramsey Clark -ed]
Now, any such appeal would pretty much have to be based on the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution that protects citizens against illegal search and seizure. Essentially one would argue that God violated the civil rights of Adam and Eve by setting them up to commit a crime by placing the Tree and fruits right next to them and then arresting them for the crime of eating the food placed right in front of them (not to mention the fact that the Lord God did not read Adam or Eve their Miranda rights, or at least any such reading is not recorded in the Book of Genesis), an argument that has been used successfully in some drug related cases. Now, the main issue with this argument is whether or not residents of Eden can really claim to be protected by the Constitution of the United States. Given resent legal milestones that have stretched the applicability of national laws beyond a country's borders, such as Belgium's war crimes laws, however, I don't think we really need to worry too much about any of that jurist-my-diction stuff.
Another argument could be made that there really should have been a mistrial declared given the conflict of interests that God had in this case. The Lord served as arresting officer, as well as judge and jury in the case. Now, while God is the Judge of all this in this world and beyond, it seems that it would have been appropriate for the Lord to recuse Herself as Judge from the case and have allowed the Holy Ghost, or possibly one of the Arc Angels to sit on the bench for this trial (don't get me wrong, I'm not doubting God's ability to be impartial, but I just think it would have been better, even if only for the sake of public relations, for God to have recused Himself).
Now, its seems that there are two reasonably solid bases for appeal in this case. And, if this were an Eternal Damnation case, I'd likely advise my client to go ahead with the appeal. However, as the human race was essentially only sentenced to a few thousand years of probation, with each and everyone of us afforded the opportunity to have our sentence commuted because of good behavior after 65 or 75 years, I would have to advise the human race against any such appeal, if for no other reason than it means getting to avoid being cross-examined by the Lord in a potential new trial (the Lord, being omniscient and all, is a superb cross-examiner -- we're talking Sam Waterston good).
posted by BertramWooster at 6:28 PM
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