Catholic Marketing

As the world's largest Christian denomination, with over 1 billion people served, the Catholic Church is, by most accounts doing ok. That being said, it is always possible to do better and also it is important not to get complacent. Therefore, I think its high time that the Catholic Church put together a flashy, in your face, Madison Avenue marketing blitz to make sure current worshippers are retained and that we bring in some new bodies.

Now, any good marketing/advertising executive will tell you that one of the most important parts of any successful campaign is a tag line: something short, pithy and memorable that will stick in the heads of consumers is sure to increase product recognition for the Church. Plus, all the other religions are doing it. While not creating too many new customers, the whole "Chosen People" thing has help ensure remarkable worshiper loyalty for the Jews for over 2000 years and their new "Red, White and Jew" campaign promises to take America by storm; and the Hindus have had great market penetration with their "Worship one god, get a second one free" campaign. As such, I think its about time the Catholic Church got a good tagline in order to build its marketing campaign around, so here are some possibilities:

1. Stay Catholic, don't make Grandma cry.

2. The Roman Catholic Church, because the Byzantine Empire kind of sucked.

3. Catholics do it universally.

4. Visualize Whirled Priests.

5. Baptism, don't leave Earth without it.

6. All the Lord that's fit to worship.

7. The Catholic Church, when you absolutely, positively have to go to Heaven.

8. Reach out and save someone.

9. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a religion it is.

10. What would you do-oo-oo for the Catholic Church.

Those are my suggestions, if anyone else has any, please feel free to speak up, because I think we all want the best possible marketing campaign for the Catholic Church.

As for Diet Catholic (aka Anglicanism), I suggest "Sometimes you feel like a Pope, sometimes you don't!", but its really up to them to think of their own slogans.