Power Rankings - Week 1
Well, we're about halfway through February, so its time to put out this season's first set of Saintly Power Rankings:
Top 5
1 - Saint Mary - No suprise here, after taking home the championship last year, Mary looks poised to repeat, with healings of the sick and appearances in various Latin American food items scheduled throughout the next few months. Now, some argue that being the virgin mother of the Lord gives her an unfair advantage over the other Saints, but she plays within the rules of the system we have - its not her fault that there isn't a Holiness Cap. So, as they say, don't hate the playa, hate the game.
2 - Saint Valentine - Despite taking a beating in the Arabian Penninsula, Valentine had his usual mid-February surge. Look for a decline in his stats over the next few weeks, though, as he is a notoriously streaky saint.
3 - Saint Damian - Even though he was beheaded in 303, everything is looking up for this patron saint of the blind with Ray Charles taking home Grammies for record and album of the year and Ray looking destine to pick up an Oscar or two as well.
4 - Saint Francis of Assisi - With scientists announcing that they may have found evidence of current life on Mars, this patron Saint of Animals may well soon increase his fan base by an entire planet.
5 - St. Patrick - With Valentine's Day in the review mirror, this is traditionally the time Patrick get's hot. Look for Patrick to put together a strong few weeks with the Irish getting loaded and chasing away imaginary snakes in preparation for March 17th.
Bottom 5
143,996- Bernadine of Siena - With the end of the football season and the NHL officially cancelling its season, this patron saint of compulsive gambling has had a rough couple of weeks. Look for him to bounce back soon, though, with the NCAA tournament and the start of the baseball season within view.
143,997 - Clare of Assisi- Given the ratings American Idol has been getting, its not a great time to be the patron saint of television writers.
143,998 - Brendan the Navigator - Good guy, Brendan: He was a monk, travelled all over the Atlantic Ocean evangelizing islanders and eventually found himself the patron saint of sailors, unfortunately for him the US Navy announced this week that it is naming a submarine after Jimmy Carter.
143,999 - Dimpna - I only have 2 words for this patron saint of happy families, "Brad" and "Jen".
144,000 - Joan of Arc - Is it ever really a good time to be the patron saint of France?
Top 5
1 - Saint Mary - No suprise here, after taking home the championship last year, Mary looks poised to repeat, with healings of the sick and appearances in various Latin American food items scheduled throughout the next few months. Now, some argue that being the virgin mother of the Lord gives her an unfair advantage over the other Saints, but she plays within the rules of the system we have - its not her fault that there isn't a Holiness Cap. So, as they say, don't hate the playa, hate the game.
2 - Saint Valentine - Despite taking a beating in the Arabian Penninsula, Valentine had his usual mid-February surge. Look for a decline in his stats over the next few weeks, though, as he is a notoriously streaky saint.
3 - Saint Damian - Even though he was beheaded in 303, everything is looking up for this patron saint of the blind with Ray Charles taking home Grammies for record and album of the year and Ray looking destine to pick up an Oscar or two as well.
4 - Saint Francis of Assisi - With scientists announcing that they may have found evidence of current life on Mars, this patron Saint of Animals may well soon increase his fan base by an entire planet.
5 - St. Patrick - With Valentine's Day in the review mirror, this is traditionally the time Patrick get's hot. Look for Patrick to put together a strong few weeks with the Irish getting loaded and chasing away imaginary snakes in preparation for March 17th.
Bottom 5
143,996- Bernadine of Siena - With the end of the football season and the NHL officially cancelling its season, this patron saint of compulsive gambling has had a rough couple of weeks. Look for him to bounce back soon, though, with the NCAA tournament and the start of the baseball season within view.
143,997 - Clare of Assisi- Given the ratings American Idol has been getting, its not a great time to be the patron saint of television writers.
143,998 - Brendan the Navigator - Good guy, Brendan: He was a monk, travelled all over the Atlantic Ocean evangelizing islanders and eventually found himself the patron saint of sailors, unfortunately for him the US Navy announced this week that it is naming a submarine after Jimmy Carter.
143,999 - Dimpna - I only have 2 words for this patron saint of happy families, "Brad" and "Jen".
144,000 - Joan of Arc - Is it ever really a good time to be the patron saint of France?
posted by BertramWooster at 4:36 PM
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