I've got more rhymes than the Bible's got psalms

I have 151 rhymes.

Ancient gods in Modern Times 6 : Thor requests a song to dance to at a wedding

DJ: Sorry, I don't think I have "You Can't Touch This."

Thor: That's ok, I brought my own Hammer.

Ancient gods in Modern Times 5 : Thor spends a day building houses with Habitat for Humanity

Thor: That's ok, I brought my own hammer.

Ancient gods in Modern Times 4 : Thor plays Wack-A-Mole

Thor: That's ok, I brought my own hammer.

Ancient gods in Modern Times 3 : Thor steps up to a carnival "Test your Strength" game

Thor: That's ok, I brought my own hammer.

Ancient gods in Modern Times 2 : Gaia sees a picture of the Earth from space

Gaia: Do you think the ice caps make my butt look big?

Ancient gods in Modern Times 1: Puck watches MTV's "Punked"

Puck: So what? Am I supposed to be impressed that you managed to trick Lindsey Lohan into thinking she had a really bad limo driver? Ohhhh, wow, that's a good one! What's next Ashton? You gonna dunk on a paraplegic in a pick-up basketball game?
Puck: ...
Puck: ...
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Puck: Bloody amateurs.

Knowest Thine Enemy - Hell

• Hell is aplace full of fire, except for arsonists. Arsonist hell is full of flame retardant and Howie Long movies.
• While the expression is quite popular, the trip to Hell is only taken in a handbasket by owners of those annoying little yippie dogs.
• There is no Porkchop Day in Hell's cafeteria.
• Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Which, for most of us, is really a great relief.
• Etymologically, the word "hell" comes from from the Old English "helan" which meant "to conceal". See that, you learned something new today. Good for you.
• In hell one must live along side the other damned, whose outbursts of pain, grief and hatred are an ever-present source of fresh torment. My next door neighbor makes the hall reak of patchouli and plays Phish really loud.
• The road to hell is paved with unbought stuffed dogs. Not my fault.
• Some people question how a being of absolute love like the Lord could let souls suffer in a place of such horrific torment. To them I say: "Burn ,heretic, burn!!!!!"
• Christian Hell is pretty much just the flames...its alot less into the whole ironic punishment thing as Hades.
• If you die before Jimmy Carter and end up in hell, please be sure to save him a seat.
• Hell is full of demons and devils. There probably is some easy joke here about Martin Brodeur, but I am not one to go for easy jokes.
• Speaking of easy jokes, there are no Bahamians in Hell, they are all in Limbo!!!
• Hell is a place of unimaginable pain and torment that will last throughout all eternity. If given the choice between Hell and high water, take high water.
• In Paradise Lost, much of the pain of hell is derived from the absence of the presence of the Almighty. To put it in perspective, just think of how you felt when they canceled Small Wonder, but like 10 times worse.
• Hell is other people....so leave me the heck alone!!!

Pope UfAQ - Cologne

Q: What's the difference between cologne and Axe Deodorant Body Spray?

A: About $45 and 100% of the chance of your getting lucky if a girl finds one of them in your bathroom.

Peter Gallagher

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000BHNLXA/qid=1131858181/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-5790925-4887022?v=glance&s=music&n=507846


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Am I the only person concerned about Peter Gallagher using his O.C. celebrity to further his music career? It kind of makes you doubt his artistic integrity on the show, doesn't it?

Pope UnFAQ- Jeans

Q: Are those Bugle boy jeans that you're wearing?

A: Umm, no...cause the thing is, its not 1983.

Next Step

So, I had the whole running for Pope thing, now i've got the Antipope thing....so the next step is a cult, right?

Godzilla and the Pope

I probably should try to say something about this, but am at a loss for words:

Tellem [Hideki Matsui's agent] has another reason for wanting a resolution early next week.

"My wife expects me to be on a plane to Rome for the CBS screening of the CBS TV movie about Pope John Paul," he said. "The screening is at the Vatican on the 17th, and I've got to be on the plane on the 16th, so I'm hoping we can conclude the deal by the 15th, which is deadline, so I can please Hideki and please my wife -- and meet the pope."

Coming Down

Well, another All Saints Day has come and gone. It seems like you spend so much time decorating, buying gifts, cooking, checking up to see if anyone new has been beatitified (or if your really lucky canonized) and just getting ready for the day that the whole thing just wooshes by in a flash.

Ah well, what can you do. I guess its time for me to get cracking on the clean-up, tossing away all the wrapping paper and putting away all the decorations (I got the cutest stuffed canons for the dinner table this year that I need to make sure to pack up and save for next year).

Its crazy, its hectic and its alot of work, but I have to say that All Saints Day is really my favorite time of year.

Pope FAQ - Favorite Saint

Q: So its All Saints' Day, who is your favorite saint?

A: Vlad the Impaler.

Q: umm...I don't think he was a saint.

A: Oh, saint. You said saint. Sorry, I thought you said "Who is your favorite 15th century Balkan prince, famous for brutally slaughtering his enemies, both military and political, by placing then atop long pikes and later recreated in a late 19th century Gothic novel as a terrifying, yet seductive, undead creature of the night that requires the blood of the living to survice?" My bad.

Q: OooooKay, guess you misheard me....well, who is your favorite saint, then?

A: I don't know, Patrick?

Pope Poll : President

Q: Whom would you vote for if the presidential election were held today?

A:

3% - Devin
2% - Another canidate
95% - Wait a minute, I'm confused, why is there a presidential election today? Didn't we just have one last year?