Pope Alert - Ratzinger pulls ahead
A reader points out that "It seems as though Ratzinger is gathering some support among the cardinals (an unnamed source claims at least 50 would vote in his favor) before the opening of the conclave on Monday." This, on the surface at least, appears to be a major fly in the sacramental ointment of the Devin for Pope campaign. As you probably know 115 Cardinals will be taking part in the conclave. Traditionally, a two-thirds majority was needed to elect a Pope, but John Paul II changed the rules as a result of a drunken bar bet, so now only a simple majority is needed, which means Ratzinger only needs to convince 8 more Cardinals to vote for him and he's in.
But fear not, for Ratzinger is going about this the wrong way. While it is true that it is the Cardinals that cast the votes for the next Pope within the Conclave, it is not actually their decision. According to Catholic doctrine, the Cardinals are merely the physical vehicles through which the will of the Holy Spirit is expressed. So all of Raty's smoozing the Cardinals with fancy lunches, exotic vestments, and promises of reclaiming the Sudentenland for the Fatherchurch have been pointless. 58 Cardinals may go in the Conclave ready to vote for Ratzinger, but when you've got a tongue of fire dangling over your head, you do what the Holy Spirit tells you to do.
Therefore, it is imperative that the Holy Spirit gets behind the Devin for Pope campaign, and fast. I think the best way to accomplish this is through a grass roots campaign. Call His Vatican City office, write letters (I happen to know that the Spirit is partial to cherry cordials, so if anyone feels like sending a box along...), or send an email (holyspirit@trinity.god). Let the Holy Spirit know who the people want as their next Pope: anyone but a German!
But fear not, for Ratzinger is going about this the wrong way. While it is true that it is the Cardinals that cast the votes for the next Pope within the Conclave, it is not actually their decision. According to Catholic doctrine, the Cardinals are merely the physical vehicles through which the will of the Holy Spirit is expressed. So all of Raty's smoozing the Cardinals with fancy lunches, exotic vestments, and promises of reclaiming the Sudentenland for the Fatherchurch have been pointless. 58 Cardinals may go in the Conclave ready to vote for Ratzinger, but when you've got a tongue of fire dangling over your head, you do what the Holy Spirit tells you to do.
Therefore, it is imperative that the Holy Spirit gets behind the Devin for Pope campaign, and fast. I think the best way to accomplish this is through a grass roots campaign. Call His Vatican City office, write letters (I happen to know that the Spirit is partial to cherry cordials, so if anyone feels like sending a box along...), or send an email (holyspirit@trinity.god). Let the Holy Spirit know who the people want as their next Pope: anyone but a German!
posted by BertramWooster at 12:38 PM
4 Comments:
I can see if I can flenagle some Red Sox v Cubs at Wrigley Field or some Cubs v Yankees at Yankee Stadium tickets. You think that might work? I'll even throw some beers and hot dogs in....I would offer peanuts and Cracker Jack, but I hear the Big HS has a nut allergy.
-C
I think HS is allergic to shell fish and pork, too. Quite frankly I'm beginning to wonder if the whole Kosher thing is really just a case of HS going "well if I can't eat it nobody else can either"
Think Ratzy's eyein' up the new Pope duds they have on display, despite the fact the new Pope hasn't been selected yet, trying to figure out what shoes to wear with them and which size he can squeeze into? The fine folks at Ditta A. Gammarelli have put together some vestments in small, medium, and large so that the public can get an idea of what kind of threads the new Ponitff will be sporting this season. (You didn't think the Holy Father shopped at the Gap or wore off the rack, did you?)
-C
I wish he shopped at the Gap, then I could get me some pope duds
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